REPENTANCE THAT NEEDS RENOVATION. 027

There is great need today of just such sincere, heartfelt repentance and confession. Those who have not humbled their souls before God in acknowledging their guilt have not yet fulfilled the first condition of acceptance. If we have not experienced that repentance which is not to be repented of and have not confessed our sin with true humiliation of soul and brokenness of spirit, abhorring our iniquity, we have never sought truly for the forgiveness of sin; and if we have never sought, we have never found the peace of God.

True confession and repentance. I used to never plan sin before my soccer games, I wouldn’t plan my sin in general but would definitely try my best to be the most upstanding righteous person that I could be, before soccer games. However, after soccer games, I just happened to always be “weak.” You know those excuses we give that are subtle attempts to pacify and even justify why we simply only “made a mistake.”

This was me.

I had a love and respect for God theoretically, I would not say that I had any hatred for God or the church, I honestly was just a slave to sin.

I loved God theoretically, but not actually, not practically, not in my works, not in the summary of my life.

It’s like a person telling their spouse how much they love them while actively cheating on them and such.

My sin and repentance were like a revolving door that was akin to something like a hamster in a wheel.

Am I perfect now? Not at all. But there is a staunch difference in who I am in my essence. From this moment I never plan on sinning again, will I make mistakes? Sure. The point however, is that before I really actually –surrendered my heart and its contents to Jesus I could not have said that. There were sins that I still wanted to do, I just wanted to pacify myself with the idea that God maybe would, I guess overlook them, or maybe just wouldn’t address it. I could write forever about this idea, it blows my mind, but I’ll save the reader the trouble.

There are too many confessions like that of Pharaoh when he was suffering the judgments of God. He acknowledged his sin in order to escape further punishment but returned to his defiance of heaven as soon as the plagues were stayed. Balaam’s confession was of a similar character. Terrified by the angel standing in his pathway with drawn sword, he acknowledged his guilt, lest he should lose his life. There was no genuine repentance for sin, no contrition, no conversion of purpose, no abhorrence of evil, and no worth or virtue in his confession.

No conversion of purpose

No abhorrence of evil

Balaam says something in the Bible that is so solemn you have to read it thrice.

Numbers 23:10 “Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!”

Balaam wanted to die the death of the righteous, but he didn’t want to live the life of the righteous.

This was me.

God please help that this would not still be me.

IJN,

amen

Judas Iscariot, after betraying his Lord, returned to the priests, exclaiming: “I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood.” But his confession was not of such a character as would commend him to the mercy of God. It was forced from his guilty soul by an awful sense of condemnation and a fearful looking for of judgment. The consequences that were to result to him drew forth this acknowledgment of his great sin. There was no deep, heartbreaking grief in his soul that he had delivered the Son of God to be mocked, scourged, and crucified; that he had betrayed the Holy One of Israel into the hands of wicked and unscrupulous men. His confession was only prompted by a selfish and darkened heart. {5T 637.1}

His confession was only prompted by a selfish and darkened heart.

Jesus.

Lord give us the real thing. Real repentance that can only come from You.

The real thing Lord.

please.

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